Although sex addicts may act out sexually in many different ways, there are common elements that seem to characterize our addiction:

  • Do you feel powerless over your addictive sexual behavior?
  • Does your life feel unmanageable?
  • Do you have feelings of shame, pain, and self-loathing?
  • Have you failed at promises and attempts to stop acting out?
  • Does your preoccupation with sex boarder on being a ritual?
  • Has there been a progressive worsening of negative consequences?

You may wish to take the following assessment:

Self Assessment on sex addiction, answer either “Yes” or “No” to these twelve questions to assess whether you may have a problem with sexual addiction.
  1. Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?
  2. Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?
  3. Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?
  4. Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?
  5. Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?
  6. Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality, such that you avoid touching your body or engaging in sexual relationships?
  7. Do you fear that you have no sexual feelings, that you are asexual?
  8. Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?  Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?
  9. Have you ever been arrested or are you in danger of being arrested because of your practices of voyeurism, exhibitionism, prostitution, sex with minors, indecent phone calls, etc.?
  10. Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?
  11. Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?
  12. Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless, alienated from others, or suicidal?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions we urge you to seek further help.  Many have found relief from their addiction by attending SAA meetings.  We hope that you will join us for a meeting.  To learn more go to the “First Meeting?” section of this website.